I’d been in California for much longer than I’d anticipated.  I longed to go home, but God was leading me to do something first about a work-related injustice.  The health plan for the law firm where I worked was underpaying benefits, and employees and their families were being hurt.   After five months of writing and research, I submitted a documented report to the managing partner, along with a letter asking the firm to investigate... [more]

The darkest time for me in the last year was a place where the sun shines more than 350 days a year.  

   I went to Botswana with hopes of serving and of immersing myself in a new culture. I loved the Peace Corps, having served for two years in the late sixties.  My wife harbored a dream of the Peace Corps for more than forty years.  It was a gift to be given... [more]

I’ve been searching for over a year, waiting expectantly to find Home.   Actually, I’ve been looking for home since the day I left an untenable, unsafe home and marriage five years ago.  I also remember occasions as a child when home didn’t fit me, or vice versa: times I feared the anger of others and ran to find safety in a hiding place indoors or out, a place I could release emotions without anyone... [more]

The first all-church retreat that I attended with West Hills Friends featured Stan T. as our retreat speaker.  This was in the early- or mid-1990s, when I was already several years into a spiritual struggle with theology and faith and changing understanding of important things once believed with great certainty. As part of our time together, Stan led us in several guided meditations.    Imagine (Stan told us) that Jesus has a gift just for... [more]

I am not a patient woman.   As a teenager, I waited for a respectable way to leave home and then I waited to find a respectable place to live when I was no longer welcome at home. Then I waited to save enough money to finish high school at night while I held down a day job to pay the rent.   A few years later I waited to qualify for enough financial aid... [more]

This story is one of many that could be told from this time of challenge and fear.  As in any complex situation, multiple threads can be followed and multiple stories told.   Years ago I was in a very difficult situation and received the unvarnished message that I was to make a major change.  There were many factors to consider because it would affect other people and also change family finances.  It was very clear... [more]

Where the shadows live Where the terrors of imagination Stalk me Till I sink under The nightmare of dreaming   The dark specter haunts me my daydreams taunt me I seal the past Hidden at last In the dark places That I never forget   I have faced my fear and my fear came up short It won’t engage me Or give me credit for winning It merely slinks out Like it was never an... [more]

Without warning, I would feel a sudden pain inside my belly.  It was always a sharp, stabbing pain.  After a moment, the pain would vanish as inexplicably as it had arrived. For a couple of years, I endured this terrible sensation over and over.   Because the pain was so unpredictable, I never thought of myself as pain-free.  The pain was never gone; it was only lurking.  I knew it could ambush me at any... [more]

Thinking of a time of waiting could not be easier.  The Light has been on a dimmer switch for the past year and a half.  In spite of our deep desires and vibrant hopes, my husband and I have been unable to conceive a child.  Month after month, we have been face to face with the same disappointment.  It is stunning.  Both very healthy, we’d expected to become pregnant easily.   With no idea what... [more]