I have received two huge body blows of life.
When I was seven, my thirty-nine year-old father died suddenly. I was raised by my widowed mother. More recently my twenty- two-year-old grandson Griffin died from a rare heart issue.
God, why do loved ones die before they grow old? Two scriptures come to mind. Job 30:20, “I cry out to you, God, but you don’t answer” and Ecclesiastes 1:14, “I saw all the deeds that are done under the sun; and see, all its vanity and chasing after the wind.” Not exactly what I expect from a benevolent and loving God. Could you not have waited to exercise your claim?
God’s answers have come in various ways. I think that most church meetings can’t really handle the problem of suffering. In my case it’s different. Our West Hills Friends community has poured out overwhelming love and grace that is beyond anything that I have ever experienced. The personal texts, letters, cards, phone calls, home visits, meals, and hugs of love help me to get up every day and continue. I’m emotional and crying but I know that each of you are praying and supporting our journey.
God speaks to me in silence. I can sit and listen to the quietness of our surroundings. I think that I hear Griffin, saying, “Grandpa, we’re cool. We will always have those cherished moments.”
There is this gift of hope that God is doing something about it. There is a fix in progress. Forgive me Lord. I see the heaven beyond this world. I see you and trust you.
I know Griffin is here because sometimes I feel his spirit and see him clearly in images that appear when I’m awake. I guess these waking images are called “visions.” It’s rather complicated, but these experiences of Griffin’s presence and the images of him tell me there’s an eternity of consciousness, that the mind and consciousness never die.
“The inner world has its clouds and rains, but of a different kind. Its skies and suns are of a different kind. This is made apparent only to the refined ones: those who are not deceived by the seeming completeness of the ordinary world.“ Rumi, 12th-century mystic.
I know it will be good with Jesus. I will always remember and love Griffin.
—Richard Evans